A complete paradigm shift

"I think I should start building watch towers right from the Dark Age and by the time I get into castle age, I can keep an eye on the enemy", I thought thinking of strategies to prevent the enemy from building Barracks right at my door step as it happened the day before.
Trrrriiinnnggg... the bell rang and the invigilator started handing over quesion papers. Age of Empires, a game by Microsoft, swept my B.Tech College boys hostel and I had been playing it the day before after finishing studying for the exam. I glanced over the question paper and started sweating. I had no clue about one two mark question and one five mark question, the rest I could answer quite well. That is seven marks gone out of hundred, eight more marks and I could bid farewell to S grade, the outstanding grade. Cursing Age of Empires, I started answering.
Three hours later, "How did you do?", "Phod diya kya?" kinda questions were floating around.
"Not very good. Seven marks straight in the bin", I answered
"That is ok, you can still get S", consoled my friend.
With no mood to have lunch, I went straight to my room to find out the answers to the questions I did not attempt and resolving to delete that wretched game.
I never knew what M.Tech would do to me.

I choose a place close to my friends, far from the inviligator. We were all fully armed. The innocent Professor allowed a cheat sheet - one sided A4 page. Naveen SSM squeezed around 40 slides in that one page - the entire syllabus. The invigilator looked at her watch and started distributing questions papers, the good old bell was missing. A lot of other things were missing - no bell to tell the time, no open windows, no streaming sunlight, no fresh air, no wooden benches, no anything which would suggest it was a room for humans not robots. The room was fully closed, airconditioned and computerized, the kind of room which makes me feel highly claustrophobic. I looked out of the window, the weather was awesome, just about to rain but not raining.
"Here", said a rough female voice snapping me out of my day dream.
Resisting the urge to run out for breath, I looked at the question paper and felt elated.
"How did it go?", asked a friend an hour later when I got out of the examination hall, also being the first person to get out.
"Better than I had expected. I could attempt twenty marks out of fifty. Guess I can manage a C grade now", I said happily walking towards the canteen for a cup of coffee to celebrate!

Earphones and a Box of Chocolates

“You guys from Andhra Pradesh think life is like a movie”, one of my friend always taunts me.

I try to argue that it is actually the other way round, movies and novels are inspired by incidents in real life.
“Come on, you think all the script writers are so imaginative to conceive an entire plot on their own ?”, I keep asking but all I get is a silence and strong disapproval. A week back, I think I proved myself beyond doubt.

My Apple earphones choose the week before Diwali to stop working properly. At high volumes, the right earphone was producing a buzzing noise. Since I was aware that my ear is full of earwax, I asked one of my friend to test it. When he confirmed the presence of the buzz interrupting the music, I headed straight to forum to get it replaced; it had one year warranty.

“This is the second time I am facing this problem, what the hell is wrong with Apple earphones?”, I asked the service guy.

“Yes sir, there seem to be a problem with the apple ear phones. Today morning, a customer got his replaced for the fourth time”, he said causing my eyebrows to raise in surprise, I was under the impression that my rough usage was the reason or maybe everyone uses it roughly to get them replaced; Apple has the habit of making everything white which get soiled easily and a pure white replacement is lucrative; previously I got my white-turned-brown-earphones earphones having a similar problem replaced with pure white ones so this time I was not pissed off, in fact I was looking forward to lay my hands on ones.

“They will be ready in two working days, Sir”, he said handing me the Material Acceptance Form. I nodded and left the showroom.

Two working days later, which was actually 4 days because of the weekend, I walked in the showroom producing the form. After 10 minutes I was informed that the stock did not arrive yet.

“Please give us two more days, Sir”, said the service guy.

I was angry but because it was festive season, did not show it, it was the week of Diwali. I quietly left the showroom.

Two days later I was back with the form. I was made to wait 20 minutes and then,

“We are sorry sir. Apple had sent In-Ear earphones by mistake. We need three more days to send it back to Apple and get the correct piece”, said the service guy cautiously thinking that I might explode.

“It is ok. I will take them”, I said controlling my anger.

“Sorry sir but they cost Rs4000. We need to send them back”, he said.

With my fist clenched, I grabbed the form and left the show room. The moment I walked out of Forum, I had another idea. I ran back,

“Can I have a look at them?”, I asked.

“Sure Sir”, he said and came out with a pack of sparkling white earphones packed attractively in a white triangular case with a transparent lid. The earphones and the packing had Apple written all over it, I mean only Apple can make things so attractive. I immediately fell in love.

“I will pay the price difference and take it”, I said.

“Sorry Sir, that is not an option”, I was informed.

Highly disappointed, I left. The thought of purchasing them for Rs4000 was pulling me back.

“This is the time to listen to your mind not your heart”, I told myself and forced myself on a bus back.

Three days later, I called the showroom.

“They are not yet ready Sir”, I was informed.

I cut the call without another word. I could find no words to express my frustration. I sat in front of my laptop and composed a mail.

From: G Jayanth

To: Imagine

Subject: Horribe service

Hi,

I am utterly disappointed with the service provided at Imagine, forum. The iTouch earphones which I had given for replacement on 28th Oct, 2010 are not yet replaced. I was patient last week because it was festive season but asking me to wait till next Saturday is too much.
There was a mistake when Apple had sent the wrong earphone and I was prepared to pay the price difference and collect the In-Ear earphones but was declined and was
assured that I would get the correct ones on Tuesday (i.e yesterday).

In this competitive world, this kind of service is totally unacceptable and is very bad for Imagine too. I have already transferred my loyalty to Reliance. Collecting my replaced ear phones will be my last transaction with Imagine.

MAF: 10622

Regards,
Jayanth
(Author of Exotic Engineer Entrepreneur)

 

Within two hours, I got a call.

“Sir, your earphones are ready. Will you collect them today?”, asked a pleasant female voice.

“I will try to but am not sure if I can”, I said.

I was busy the whole day and couldn't go. The next day, I again got a call.

“Sir, I am calling from Imagine. Will you come today to collect your ear phones”, asked a male voice.

“I really am not sure. My schedule these days is a bit hectic”, I said importantly.

“Would you like us to courier it to your address?”, he asked.

“No. I will come sometime”, I said marveling at the impact the mail had.

Was it because of the signature? I have no idea.

The next day I got another call asking me the same. I politely declined wondering what was wrong.

It was the next day I had the chance to go. I had no idea I would be treated to a wonderful surprise.

I handed over the Material Acceptance Form and stood waiting as usual.

“Sir, you can have these. You do not need to pay anything extra”, said a guy dressed up in white coveralls and handed me the earphones I fell in love with.

I was speechless. I took it from his hand and could not take my eyes off it.

“Sir, here is a small token of apology from our side”, said the guy handing me a box to swiss chocolates.

I had the sudden impulse to burst out laughing but controlled myself. Instead, I put a whether-to-accept-or-nor face and just stood silently.

“Jayanth, take it”, both my mind and heart were screaming.

I took it.

“I hope you will visit us anytime you need something”, he said apologetically.

I had neither resources nor plans to buy anything from Apple but,

“Hmmm.. ok sure”, I said and took the box of chocolates. All I wanted to do was to get out of the store and laugh to my heart's content!

But there were formalities to be completed.

After giving them a rather dissatisfied kind of feedback and assuring them that next time I would rate them better, I literally ran out of the store and, out of amazement, elation, burst out laughing.

So people, remember customer is the King, one of the most important advantage a common man has in this competitive world! Use it wisely :-).

When God conspires....

The world is changing. Those who cannot keep pace will fade away and soon be forgotten. This was what happened to the canteen of IIIT Bangalore, loyal but nameless, the caterers were stuck up with biscuits and coffee. 13^th November, 2010 was their last day in the campus. They were replaced with caterers who could provide Butter Dosa.

But Deepthi Karnam, the most enthusiastic girl in IIIT Bangalore, decided that even if we would forget them they should not forget us. She made this possible with two bottles of Soft Drinks, a box of Cadbury celebrations, Haldiram Son-papdi and a bunch of her friends. We gave a tiny farewell to the dismissed four member staff on their last eve in the college campus. They were surprised and really happy. One of the staff happened to be from Kerala and talking with him brought back memories of my Kerala trip.

The trip which taught me that how much ever you plan there is just no use because chaos is a part of our life, the world and the universe.Divine intervention could disrupt even the best laid plans.

It was the first trip I ever organized and took great pains in planning everything down to the last detail. Mom, sis and me would travel from Chennai to Ernakulum where a taxi would be waiting for us. We would have breakfast and head towards Munnar to spend two days in the most beautiful part of the country. Then a day in Thekkady, where we would go shopping for spices in the afternoon. Mom would then rest in the hotel; me and sis would go on a night safari, by walk. The next night, we would spend in a house boat. Kerala, God's own country! But God tried everything to keep us off his lands.

“Where the hell is my wallet?”, I muttered looking around. I was sure I kept it in my pocket. After half a day of frantic searching, I had to admit defeat. It was lost. I was crippled. ATM cards, driving license, PAN card – all lost. It would take at least a month for me to apply and get all the cards back.

“Oh my God! I lost my driving license”, I shouted.

“I know. Apply for it. You will get the duplicate in a month”, said Mom.

“We are going to Kerala in five days. The ticket without my license is invalid”, I said sitting slumped.

Those who are familiar with the old IRCTC rules will know that the only way out was to cancel my ticket and make Mom the Master passenger with her PhotoID and that was what I did. I booked myself on a bus since the train was overflowing.

Two days before the trip, God turned his wrath on Keerthi, my sister.

“Jayanth, Abdul Kalam is coming and SASTRA has sealed itself. No one can take leave. All permissions to go home stand cancelled”, she wailed.

After half an hour of discussion, we decided that the best way out was for her to come directly from Thanjavur a day later. A dent in the best laid plans. Mom and me had to wait for Keerthi in Ernakulam on the first day and spend a day less in Munnar. I was dejected. Munnar was the place I wanted to visit the most. Also, we were split up. Instead of happily going together, I was going in a bus, mom and sis in two different trains on two different days!

It was the day of the journey. Mom didn't have a mobile phone so I gave her mine and headed towards the bus stand to catch the afternoon bus. Mom would catch a train that evening.

“Jayanth, Jayanth”, I heard Mom's voice in the bus stand. Perplexed, I turned around and saw her hurrying towards me.

“What are you doing in the bus stand”, I shouted.

“I was cleaning the house and tore the train ticket”, she said handing me shreds of her evening train ticket.

I was speechless for a moment and then burst out laughing. God has his style. Fifteen minutes were left for the bus to leave. I told Mom to somehow delay the bus if I was late and rushed towards the nearest Internet cafe to take another printout.

The trip was fun. Night Safari on foot, Speed Boat, Rowing Boat, Elephant Ride, Bugs Bunny Carrots, Echo Point we had nothing to complain. But God was not done with us yet.

We were going to Allepey for the Houseboat and were almost there when my phone rang.

“Sir, we are calling from Hotel Mountain View, we found a purse in your room”, said a male voice.

I turned around and relayed he information to mom and sis hoping against hope it was not ours.

“It has a five hundred rupee note and a PAN card. G Keerthi is the name”, he continued

I cursed.

“Oh shit! I am not able to find my purse”, said my dear sis from the back seat.

“That is because it is around 200kms away”, I told her through clenched teeth.

I requested the Hotel to courier it to our address.

“Ok Jayanth, calm down. Even you lost your purse. Don't be angry”, I calmed myself down.

“Jayanth, my return train ticket. The PAN is my photoID”, she said in a low voice.

“WHAT!”, I shouted turning to face her. She was close to tears.

“Its ok. I am an expert at handling these things now. Lets just enjoy the houseboat now”, I consoled her.

Luckily that was the last thunderbolt God had in His arsenal.

We got back home safely and I fell into my usual routine of sitting in my cubicle dumbly staring at the computer screen feeling envious of the taxi driver who took us around.

God is Human, a rather cunning one :-)

Disclaimer: Fans of Sai Baba, don't stone me :P

A friend of mine called up today and started telling me about her visit to the Sai Baba temple. Like most girls, she finds the ways of Sai Baba, like fasting without staying hungry, very comfortable and hence is a fan. Or should I call it devotee? In one of my visit to his abode, I was served Marie Biscuits as prasad. Thus I think I will stick to calling her a fan rather than an old fashioned devotee. 
"We met the guy who built the temple and he was telling us about a few miracles which happened while the temple was being constructed", she said excitedly.
Instantly, I got prepared to start ridiculing.
"In one of the photo which was taken during the construction, the marble statue of Sai Baba which faces the fans (devotees) was facing towards the ceiling", she said.
"Humans have the power of making the Lord pray or was he requesting for a real fan?", I wondered but did not comment.
"It seems they did not have enough money to build the temple but one day Sai Baba came into their dreams and asked them to start building the temple", she said.
"Bugged of his present mansion?", I wanted to ask but remained silent.
"When they started building the temple, they often ran short out of money", she continued.
"Quite understandable", I ventured out my first innocent comment.
"It seems on the sameday, someone or the other used to call them and offered them the exact amount they needed.....", she said and I burst out laughing.
"Ok one question", I said laughing.
"What?", she asked rather irritated.
"If Sai Baba wants to give them money to build the temple, why not give them at one go saving them all the unnecessary trouble. He is God right so obviously he would know exactly how much would be required to build his home, wouldn't he?", I asked
"No man, everytime they needed some money, He would make sure they get the exact amount", she insisted supporting her idol.
"Why not all at one go?", I persisted
"I don't know man, his wish, now do you want to listen or not?", she asked.
"Ok Ok, go ahead", I said with a smile on my face

Later in the evening, I started thinking if the Lord really exists, is there any reason for him not give them the money at one go? Thinking like God, I could find no reason so I decided to think like a human and instantly I could recollect Dad fighting with the contractor while we were getting our house built.
"Sir, I need Rs20000 more to continue work", the contractor used to say.
"What! I gave you Rs15000 only 3 days back", Dad used to argue.
"But sir, I had to give wages, order bricks and cement..."
"And buy a new Motorbike. Ok, give me the bills and tell me exactly how much you need, I will give you only that much.", finished Dad looking at the contractor's brand new bike.

The analogy was striking!

Dad = Sai Baba
Contractor = Devotee/Fan
"Was Sai Baba cautious because he thought the people who were building a temple for him would use up the extra money for their luxuries and demand more later?", I wondered

"Is there any doubt about it?", I could hear Sai Baba reply with a smile. :-)

Google and You :P

This is the first short story of Vikram Galgotia, one of the protagonist in my debut novel, Exotic Engineer Entrepreneur.

"Vikram Galgotia", Vikram lazily typed in Google.com not knowing what else to search for. Post lunch, after a heavy meal in the cafeteria, he was feeling extremely drowsy. He especially blamed the curd but could never resist gulping a cup down at the end of the meal. Curd and Code do not go together. Let alone code, with eyes closing and the screen getting blurred, it was impossible for him to direct the mouse over to the Outlook Icon. He tried twice but fell asleep when the mouse was almost there and opened Internet Explorer instead. After IE opened for the second time instead of Outlook he decided not to try again.
The Google search results made him jump. He never thought he was so famous. But there it was, the truth staring at him. The first ten links were his; his facebook profile, his LinkedIn profile, his blogs and even his school! His school? He never knew his school had a site. He clicked it. His name was listed under his tenth class photo. He went through the list and felt joyous remembering the names of his old chums.
"I am famous", he muttered to himself happily after Google returned with accurate links the second time.
"Well, though not very good academically, I was a boy scout at school. Topped two class tests which were especially tough, got admission in a decent college for higher studies. Engineering was not so bad too and now a job in an MNC", he started musing.
As he reiterated over his past, he began to wonder why he never realized he could be famous. This knowledge had made his day. No longer drowsy, he started working.

Thousands of miles away, in Googleplex
"Did you find a way to test our improved search algorithm?"
"Yes"
"How do you do it?"
"Locate someone who is very insignificant and run a search on him"
"How do you plan to locate someone so insignificant?"
"Through social networking sites"
"Did you find anyone?"
"We narrowed down to one person in India"
"Run the test"
Vikram Golgatia. The Google computers whirred and clicked and displayed the results successfully.
The room erupted in celebration.

That night, among millions of people who celebrated birthday parties, promotions, wedding anniversaries, golden jubilee etc etc., two celebrations were strangely connected. 
Vikram Galgotia celebrated because he realized he was quite famous, at least Google knows him. The employees of Google celebrated because their search engine could now dig out information about the most insignificant person on earth.

Killing shoes!

I never knew buying a pair of shoes could bring me closer to death(exagerrating a bit :P) than a ride in highest rollercoaster or the scariest bungee jump. Sitting in front of the computer, I was drowsily reading about Bezier curves, they seemed interesting but starting is always tough. I noticed a new mail in my inbox and switched windows. The new mail, from a member in Bangalore Bikers Club, read
"I had been Decathlon on Saturday to pick up MTB shorts and as I passed by the cycling shoe section happened to see 8 XC cycling shoes which was priced at Rs5,999 was being sold at Rs1,499..."

I jumped up! To hell with Beizer curves! "I am not going to miss this offer"!
I heard about these shoes on one of my cycling rides. Avinash and me were leading the group. We stopped for rest and he simple fell off the bike, just like that; ride, stop and fall. He smiled sheepishly and told me he forgot to "disengage the shoes". Taking a closer look at the shoes, I realised that when engaged, they stick to the pedals enabling the rider to pull the pedals too instead of just the usual pushing action. I resolved to buy them but canceled the resolution immediately when he told me the shoes had cost him Rs6000 and the compatible pedal set Rs1200, way beyond what I could afford!

Confirming the offer was still on, I suspended the computer and was off to Decathlon.
Within two hours, the bike and me were equipped and I was ready to try out the new accessories. Excitedly, I took a quick glance at the manual, read how to engage the shoes and sped away cycling. After struggling a bit, the right shoe got "engaged" and with a little lesser struggle, the left shoe got "engaged". The new cycling style felt good. Previously, cycling was like "right push... left push.. right push.." but now it became "right push left pull.. left push right pull...".
I saw a cluster of red lights a little ahead and slowed down, traffic jam! Suddenly, I realized I forgot to read how to "disengage" the shoes. I was slowing down but my shoes were stuck to the pedals! Struggling to free my legs, I watched in horror as a the tail lamps of a Honda City came closer and closer. I could not stop with my legs tied to the pedals! I would fall off!I decided to stop alongside the City and support myself with my hand on the car but maneuvering was going to be very tricky; the car was very close to the divider. When there were just a couples of meters to spare, the left shoe got free and I immediately braked hard coming to a halt. For a few seconds, I remained a bit shaken imagining what would have happened otherwise - fallen off, scratched the car, smashed against the divider? But soon I composed myself and burst out laughing. It was really funny to imagine myself falling off  because my legs were stuck to the pedals and I remembered Avinash's incident.

I crossed the traffic jam, practiced a little and picked up speed.
I am now pretty comfortable with my new shoes but questions still stare at me. Was it a wise investment? What if I had to brake suddenly? What if.. What it.. What if.. only time will tell :-).

The silver orb

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I stared at the silver orb dreaming to own it. But for a 2nd Year B.Tech student, the price was staggering. I cursed Shashank for showing it to me the day before because since then I could think of nothing else. The silver orb, a replacement to my Philips Walkman. I wondered how many people round the globe were viewing this page and eagerly clicking on "Add to cart" endangering one of Sony's pioneering invention. Digital mp3 players were soon going to rule the music world. But two thousand eight hundred rupees....
"..techfest cash price 15000... Mumbai... Line follower.... Micro mouse..." I over heard the seniors sitting beside me in the departmant browsing center. I opened the IIT, Powai techfest site. Most of the competitions involved making robots or creating web sites or presenting papers, cash prices were highly attractive ranging from Rs5000 to Rs20000, but none interested me. Suddenly I saw the title "CRO 1.0", intrigued I clicked on it.
"Create a dot-dash game to be played on a CRO using 8051 microcontroller. It should be a 1-Player game with a Human player playing aganist the computer"
Microcontroller was a black box to me and a CRO, well with all the dials and knobs, was a nightmare. We often ended up turning random knobs and toggling random buttons to get some output during lab sessions. But I knew this was the competition I ought to register for and immediately signed up.
First learn 8051 then CRO, I decided.
After a week of ardous study in the library about the 8051, I went shopping and bought the microcontroller, its programmer, soldering iron, solder wire, resistors, capisitors, clock crystal, batteries and other odds and ends spendng Rs2000. In a week, after burning a few micontrollers and messing around with soldering, I could design a circuit and write code to blink an LED. Next, the CRO, an hour of online lessons and I knew the purpose of every dial and button. I started showing off in the lab too. Our HOD, a thin lean man, flatly refused me a CRO after lab hours but I wrenched it out from higher authorities without his knowledge. It offended him but I didnt care, he was a snob anyway.

So there I was after class hours in the lab with a mess of wires, a CRO beside the monitor, the monitor filled with lines of assembly code, circuits and batteries all around me and a small keypad in my hand with which I was moving a dot on the CRO, the lab technicians were highly amused and told me they have never seen anything like this in the lab before. This apparatus earned me friendship and respect from every technician in the lab for the rest of my stay in the college. But the HOD, well the snob just started ignoring me. Well anyway, it is common knowledge that in India, lab technicians are often more knowledgeable and useful than many PhD profs!

I was sitting staring at the CRO filled with dots and a few dashes; I was playing aganist the microcontroller. I had to start to Mumbai the next day. The game was ready, except for one small bug, it was behaving erratically at times. I went over the whole assembly code, line by line, at least 10 times, everything seemed perfect. I had the scribbled memory map in front of me. There was no operating system and I had to carefully manage the usage of every byte in the 128byte RAM.
"Wish I had more time", I shouted aloud.
Everyday, I had access to the CRO only for five hours, from 5pm to 10pm, a big handicap!
"Lab will close in half an hour", shouted the assistant, I raised my hand in acknowledgement and started going over the memory map.
"Oh my god!", I exclaimed after 15 minutes of examining. One byte in the memory was having two addresses and I was happily using it as two bytes corrupting it and hence the erratic behaviour!
I furiously made changes to the code and finished when just five minutes were left, the assistant was turning off the lights. Quickly, I compiled and burned the program into the controller and started tesing it.

"Dad, I am going tomorrow", I called up and told dad half an hour later. Reliance has just introduced the Reliance to Reliance anywhere in India free offer and we spoke for about half an hour. In the end, Dad decided to accompany me to Mumbai. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry; on one hand, it would be nice to show him what I had made but on the other had, techfest in Mumbai, the crowd was going to be colourful ;).

The IIT lab was dazzling, it was state-of-art. If you had seen Iron Man, it was like I was Tony Stark working in the Afghan Caves while the IIT Teams were Tony Stark working in his own futuristic lab! But a few of them were still struggling. In contrast to my simple circuit, some had a briefcase filled with ICs. I thought I stood no chance and just decided to enjoy the fest.

"The third prize goes to Jayanth from sastra. He is the youngest participant and did it all by himself", announced the judge. I was stunned. The allowed team size was four but I work alone. I had all my things packed, ready to leave after applauding the winners. Visitors who had played my game came forwarded to congratulate me while I was still in daze.

The cash prize was Rs3000 with which I got my first mp3 player. The irony was, I spent around Rs5000 in developing the apparatus but I guess it was fair to ask Dad the money to buy educational stuff and spend the winnings on entertainment :-)